April 2018 Featured RPG
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Dalibor is a semi-canon Dragonriders of Pern site. No knowledge of the series or site is required to join; players of all experience levels are welcome here. Founded in 2008 on Proboards and moved to Jcink in 2013, Dalibor has been running for nine years.

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Autumn, 18th Turn, 11th Pass

Upcoming Flights/Runs:

Upcoming Hatchings:
Copper Laanasuth
Copper Zelsk

With two clutches hardening on the Hatching Sands the big question seemed to be: which will hatch first?

The answer came in short order with Copper Zelsk's clutch breaking shell moments before Copper Laanasuth's. With so many eggs surely the dual hatching offers hope to the numerous Candidates who fill Dalibor's ranks. Only time will show who will come away with a lifemate of their very own...

... and who will forfeit their life in hopes of Impression.
Leadership
Weyrwoman
Rayna of Gold Couineth - Boo

Weyrleader
Z'dyn of Iron Baihujinth - Rhia

Jr. Weyrwoman
Jali of Copper Laanasuth - Rii

Jr. Weyrleader
Os'nin of Blue Alwanath - Aerona

Alphahandler
Norla of Bronze Norsk - Ives

Betahandler
Oreanda of Bronze Osk & Blue Oresk - Ruin
Der of Grey Desk - Rii

Weyrlingmaster
K'ton of Blue Ironth- Jenn
S'vor of Green Absinth - Ruriko
Nia of Pink Koeneth - Catsitta

Wherlingmaster
Ijo of Brown Isk - Rhia
Pavir of Blue Pavisk - Captain
Swithin of Blue Swisk - Ives

Candidatemaster
Ulian of White Rivath - Ruin
Zanii of Black Zansk - Leo

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Ives
Rii
Ruin

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Tigersilk
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Dalibor was created by Bre, continued by Cathaline, and is now owned and operated by Ruin. Most of the information, rules, and graphics were made, compiled, or written by staff with credit given to those whose resources they used. Stock thanks to credited parties. All characters and posts are copyrighted to the members of the game. No material from this site should be copied in any way, shape, or form without utter express permission from the members and staff. All references to worlds and characters based on Anne McCaffrey's 'Dragonrider of Pern' series are copyright Anne McCaffrey 1967-2017, all rights reserved. The Dragonriders of Pern is registered U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, by Anne McCaffrey, used here with general permission for non-commercial purposes without monetary gain.

 
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 What Am I?, AU:18 {Odinara/Ulian}
Captain
 Posted: Apr 30 2018, 12:12 AM
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Wherlingmaster





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She hadn't known how to approach the candidate master. Mostly she'd watched them from afar, aware that they were... Different, but unsure how to bring it up. How did you even start that conversation? She'd chewed her lip to shreds by the time she'd gotten the courage to approach their office and knocked.

As soon as she did, she regretted it. She didn't even know what to say! Hi, everyone calls you 'they' and I don't feel like a girl, but I know I am. So, how crazy am I and when can I be expected to be told to leave candidacy? That seemed like the sort of thing a crazy person would say.

She was dressed as one would expect most male candidates to dress: A belted tunic that was a drab brown and fairly loose fitting pants and masculine boots. Simple, but effective. Hair cropped short and still damp from the bath she'd sat in for far too long, trying to gain the courage to do what she was doing. Her chest was bound, and she had a vest over the tunic to further hide any shapeliness she might have.

She'd just decided to turn and flee when she heard sounds from the other side of the door and jumped.


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Ruin
 Posted: May 1 2018, 10:03 PM
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Betahandler





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not yet

Ulian sat motionless, or rather, leaned motionless against their stone and metal desk. Waiting. There was a Candidate out there. One that Rivath had been watching for some time with peculiar rainbow eyes, though she really stared at everyone so it probably wasn't very notable. She was staring now in fact, though she was rolling around outside in the Bowl and peering through the open frame of stone that was the Barrack's doorless entryway. now

There was a knock, and Ulian moved like fluid from their leaning position to the door, though the rustled just a bit and opened it slowly enough so at not to alarm the Candidate on the other side. Candidates could be much like animals, Ulian was coming to find, and Ulian knew admittedly very little about animals. That really was W'ryn's forte.

"Hello," they smiled warmly, "would you like to come in, Odinara? I am not so busy, and really those eggs might go at any moment and why not be here where the robes are." They moved back away from the door and to one of the chairs that sat before the desk, rather than the somewhat imposing one that sat behind. Offices were such duty-bound things, and they would have much preferred their own in the Infirmary. They'd snuck a few cushions in here or there, in fact there were some scattered around that Rivath liked to play with, but it was not quite as comfortable as the tapestry-lined and verified soundproofed cavern that was their own private part of the infirmary. "Juice?" They offered a filled horn from their desk.


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Captain
 Posted: May 1 2018, 10:56 PM
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Wherlingmaster





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"Thank you," She bobbed her head politely, following Ulian inside. To say she looked uncomfortable was an understatement. She looked somewhere between wanting to bolt, wanting to remove her own skin and wanting to brace herself meet whatever this was head on. Emotions played across her face as she took the room in and finally settled onto a cushion that smelled like dragon.

"It would be less of a run," she admitted with a small chuckle and a glance in the direction of the robes. "No, thank you," she declined the juice, pulling on her vest absently. "I, uh... Had questions, I guess, but don't know where to start or what to ask." She didn't want to be rude or say something foolish. Nor did she want to come off as crazy and get ushered out of the Weyr. Now that she was here, now that she'd seen the eggs and stood on the sands (even if only in lessons) she was loathe to give that opportunity up.

Even if she never Impressed, she would be able to say she'd been there, she'd been capable of it...

"I realize that doesn't make any sense." None of it did. She looked embarrassed and scrubbed at her face, frustrated. "I don't want to risk candidacy," she admitted finally. "But I don't want to be here by lying. Even if it isn't really lying?" Her face screwed up, aware of the fact that she wasn't making any sense and her own frustration clearly showing.

"I'm sorry, I'm probably wasting your time..."

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Ruin
 Posted: May 1 2018, 11:18 PM
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Betahandler





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Ulian allowed the Candidate to muddle through the words, to stumble and hesitate and try all the harder, it wasn't until they apologized that they stepped into lead the conversation. "Sometimes a person can work themselves up so much worrying about how to say what they want, that they never can manage to say what it is. When it comes to worrying about your place in the program, you can put those fears aside. If you were lacking in material for Candidacy, you wouldn't be here working yourself up about it." They gave the Candidate an encouraging smile.

"If it is important to you, it is important to me. Start wherever you would like, however you would like, there is no right or wrong way when it's something about you. Maybe just feel how the words come out and go from there, like keeping your mind steady on the Sands. Except I promise that I will not squawk and charge dangerously at you, Rivath yes, me? No." They fell silent again to give them time to gather their thoughts, not intruding or asking their own questions. Sometimes, it was all about giving someone the chance, and Ulian liked to give that opportunity as much as possible.

None of the Candidates had the sort of problems that made them dangerous, or unfit for the program, but so many of them were plagued with issues from their formative years or nagging concerns. All of it was coming to a head, or boiling over, in these days leading up to the hatching. Eggs baking just had a way of wiggling doubts into everyone's head.


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Captain
 Posted: May 2 2018, 12:21 AM
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Wherlingmaster





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"Would she honestly hurt any of us?" Odinara glanced at the door as though Rivath was there. Maybe she was. The white was sneaky.

She rubbed her thighs, willing her palms to be less sweaty. "I only have male cousins. Only have uncles. Never knew my mother. My father raised me." This wasn't what she was here to talk about, but once she got started the words began pouring out and she was helpless to stop them. They came quickly, with barely a pause between for air. "I knew I was a girl, I knew I was different from them. But doing what they did felt right. I hacked my hair off when I was nine or so. I started binding my chest as soon as I had to." She'd been short of breath and her back and hurt for turns before she'd figured out how to do it properly. There'd been a minor infection once, but it hadn't been bad enough for her to stop.

"It's easier when everyone assumes I'm male," she shrugged her broad shoulders, fiddling with a cushion to keep her hands busy. "It's once they find out I'm not that problems start. And I don't want there to be problems here. I know it's a Weyr," spoken like a true holder, "but what if I get out there and some dragon knows I'm pretending to be something I'm not? What if I never Impress because they know I'm pretending to be a boy?" Dragons knew things like that. Or so Odinara had heard.

"I don't want to pretend. If I could just stop being a girl, that'd be easier. But I can't, so..." She threw her hands up in defeat. "I've already accepted that I'll never be espoused, but having to give up the chance at a dragon, too?" There was a legitimate fear there, behind her words and her efforts to appear confident and calm...

Which were failing spectacularly, judging by the tremble in her hands and the way she was slowly destroying the corner of the cushion with her picking.

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Ruin
 Posted: May 2 2018, 12:48 AM
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"She could," the Candidatemaster answered honestly. "Dragons are not infallible, and Rivath has always been somewhat different, a lot like the Reds are. Would she do so intentionally? No, but could she? Certainly, and she is far more likely to do so than most. There was a case of a Blackrider storming into my office once, where she came very close to doing harm to a Rider, but I worked her through the panic she felt. It is panic, and fear, that she feels, that makes her react. She is also still quite young. She will only be ten turns old this winter." Ulian smiled with as much comfort as was applicable to the situation. Nothing about this life was worth sugar coating, it was the way of bonded animals.

Again, Ulian fell silent while the Candidate ran through her problem, from history to the present to all her own fears and even glimmers of hopes and dreams that sparkled through the muck like bits of glass in the sand. They were not smiling, not in a way that might be misconstrued as humor or a lack of concern, but their expression was open and welcoming all the same. Appearances could matter so much during times of duress, and they were always so cautious with how they approached these fragile situations.

"First, and this is quite possibly the most important, you must know that nothing will keep your dragon from you. Not even death. All the Weyrs have known the incredible loss of a Candidate who could not survive wounds they received from Standing, but still Impressed in their last few moments to compound the loss as the hatchling went between. Your dragon will not care if you are a boy, or a girl, or neither as I am." Now Ulian did smile, not wildly, but as if a soft memory of their own Impression.

"The next thing you should know is that you are correct. As confused as you feel right now, the dragons do seem to know. Rivath, for example, knew that I was neither male nor female. She could not leave my name alone, as that is proper only for females, and neither could she elide it as is proper only for males. So she shortened it, she cut it in half and I have been Ulian ever since. I am telling you this because Impression is a tumultuous time, a joyful and truly amazing upheaval of the life you have known, and it might be a day later, or a week later, but at some point you will hear how your dragon says your name and understand that they already know. Even if you don't. Even if you aren't ready to know."

Ulian paused briefly to allow that to sink in before they continued. "Dragons are much faster than we are. They're so bound to us and instinct that they are born, they grow, and then they fly Thread and for some of them that is all they know until they go between that final time. They know and love you. Tradition says they know right, their choice is true, but they don't wait for us to make up our minds. As you go forward in the program, you will need to come to terms with how you feel about yourself, and understand that your dragon might show you something about yourself that you hadn't considered, or hadn't accepted." The Candidatemaster smiled, this time it was true.

"And that is perfectly normal. As normal as our Weyrleader felt when he was plucked from the Sands by an Iron having grown up as a drudge. As normal as every Crafter who has been snared by a hatchling even though they were watching from the Stands. As normal as a White who needed a little bit of help looking for someone who could help her through a scary world. You are a Candidate, Odinara. Nothing about this will change that. Do you have a little extracurricular work ahead of you? Most definitely, and I will help you any way I can, with any questions you might have, but you should know--and probably already know--that this is a deeply personal task you have set yourself on, because only you--and your dragon--will know who you truly are inside. Once you know who you are, then you can only be yourself, and no one will have the right to expect any different or judge you for your choice. Oh they will, some of them, but they can never take your truth."


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Captain
 Posted: May 2 2018, 01:35 AM
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Wherlingmaster





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Odinara listened.

Really listened. Her fiddling with the cushion stopped. And she focused.

She listened to everything Ulian said, chewing her lip again but doing so silently, attention focused entirely on what the candidatemaster said. She sat in silence, taking it all in, letting it comfort her as much as she dare. Surely this rider, this dragonrider would know what they were talking about in regards to hatchlings and dragons and their knowing. It soothed a worry she'd harbored since Qith had first approached her. She clutched at it a moment, then released it. Tension went out of her shoulders.

"You don't think I'm crazy?" She gave Ulian a look as though she didn't quite believe it. As though she was suspicious. The cushion was released and Odinara sat in silence for a time, turning over the impromptu lesson in her head.

She was okay. She could remain a candidate. She... He? Could she be called a he? She didn't know and she didn't feel it was something that could be solved by asking. She frowned at the idea and focused on it a while. Did she want to be? She was more comfortable with it, she decided in her own mind. But she didn't know if she was ready to embrace it. She didn't know if that changed anything. She didn't know if she wanted it to. It was a lot to take in.

Belatedly, she realized she'd been sitting silent in her own thoughts for too long and blinked up at Ulian, looking embarrassed. "Sorry... And thank you. I... Need to think, I guess. I..." She sighed, running her hands over her pants again. "Any suggestions?" She gave a laugh, dragging a hand through her hair. She knew that was a ridiculous thing to ask, but she'd asked it regardless.

@Ruin


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Ruin
 Posted: May 2 2018, 02:22 AM
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Betahandler





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"Not at all, you're figuring yourself out. Everyone goes through something like this, even if it's a little bit different. You aren't the odd one out, believe me." They fell silent to give the Candidate time to process the thoughts running through their head. There was no rush or implication that they were taking up too much of Ulians time. They were, afterall, a Candidatemaster. This was part of their duties, and one that they took the most pride in. They might not have been the best Dragonriders considering that they did not fly Fall, but they had their own way of helping those who came through the program.

"The only suggestion I can give you is to try living your life comfortably, even if that means experimenting with how you've lived up until now. It'll be scary, and you'll be nervous, but if you start to find that it all makes sense or that you're more comfortable, you just might find the answer. It's also important to know that things might change, that you might feel different from day to day, and that you might even end up somewhere in between. It is important to know that this is normal, and you must understand that nothing is wrong with you." Another smile.

"I'll also be here if you need anything. There are questions only you will be able to answer, but that doesn't mean asking someone else won't help you figure them out. You can also try reaching out to your fellow Candidates, they are good people, and while some might not understand, you are all going through something scary and that makes you closer than most people."


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Captain
 Posted: May 9 2018, 09:30 PM
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Wherlingmaster





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"Thanks," Odinara offered quietly, still lost in their own thoughts. Only questions she'd be able to answer. She'd known that, upon coming here, but it didn't mean she hadn't been hopeful that Ulian could offer her some magic response that made everything slide into place.

She pushed herself up, wiping her palms on her pants once again and lifting her gaze to meet Ulian's, albeit briefly as her attention was drawn back to the door. She was clearly thinking, gears turning over and over in her head as she stood for what felt like an eternity.

Finally giving herself a small nod, she gave Ulian a smile. "Can I come back to talk to you sometime? Just..." She shrugged. "To talk, I guess. This was helpful." And not, at the same time. But there was only so much someone else could do. And she appreciated the assistance where it was offered.

"Should I move to the boys' side?" She asked as an afterthought, wrinkling her brow in Ulian's direction and watching them warily. She didn't stand as though she was afraid of the answer. Quite the opposite, she was standing confidently, perfectly at ease in her own skin, even with all the confusion running beneath it.

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Ruin
 Posted: May 15 2018, 11:43 AM
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Betahandler





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"You may come at any time," Ulian replied softly. They had been watching the Candidate mull over things, work through everything that was troubling them, and had left them to do so without interference. Some things were just better done, and accepted, by ones own self. Without outside interference or comment. To talk was always good, but to perceive and accept? That required something higher. Odinara seemed to be on the right path for them, and would hopefully need very little in the way of guidance. More than anything they would simply need someone to sound off at, someone they could trust not to retaliate or be difficult. That was all Ulian really offered, at the end of the day, was a neutral party to a complex personal debate.

"Of course you may, or you can be roomed slightly separate on either side as we have handled those who have a duality of gender rather than assigned. It won't be any trouble at all," and yet the Candidate would have to decide. Ulian would not make the choice for them, or for any other. It was not their place to say such a thing was, or was not, only to accept--and infer with Rivath's guidance--then move forward. Though they had not been a Candidate, some like them had passed through here, and some like W'ryn, and all had found a place within the Barracks no matter what their personal truth happened to be. That was the easy way things could work when there was trust and honesty between the Candidates and the Masters who minded them.


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